I was walking around a certain large store owned by the Walton family the other day when I caught myself singing a song in my head.
The song was not one that I have heard recently so I don’t know why I was thinking about it but, when I paused to actually think about the words for the first time in my life, it really started making me think.Â
The song is by the Pet Shop Boys
I’m not suggesting everyone should run out and buy their music but the more I thought about this song, the more it spoke to me about my life.
As far as I know, the Pet Shop Boys (Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe) are not Christians, and I don’t know what their purpose was in writing it, but this song is a prayer:
When I look back upon my life
It’s always with a sense of shame
I’ve always been the one to blame
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
It’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a sin
It’s a sin
Everything I’ve ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place I’ve ever been
Everywhere I’m going to
It’s a sin
At school they taught me how to be
So pure in thought and word and deed
They didn’t quite succeed
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
It’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a sin
It’s a sin
Everything I’ve ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place I’ve ever been
Everywhere I’m going to
It’s a sin
Father, forgive me, I tried not to do it
Turned over a new leaf, then tore right through it
Whatever you taught me, I didn’t believe it
Father, you fought me, ’cause I didn’t care
And I still don’t understand
So I look back upon my life
Forever with a sense of shame
I’ve always been the one to blame
For everything I long to do
No matter when or where or who
Has one thing in common, too
It’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a sin
It’s a sin
Everything I’ve ever done
Everything I ever do
Every place I’ve ever been
Everywhere I’m going to – it’s a sin
It’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a sin
It’s a, it’s a, it’s a, it’s a sin
(Confiteor Deo omnipotenti vobis fratres, quia peccavi nimis cogitatione,
verbo, opere et omissione, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa)
[trans. “I confess to almighty god,
and to you my brothers,
that I have sinned exceedingly
in thought, word, act and omission,
through my fault, through my fault,
through my most grievous fault”]
 Now you can argue that, as Christians, we should not live with a constant feeling of ‘shame’. There is no guilt or condemnation for us, in Christ, but instead of using that truth to spur us on to live for Christ our savior and redeemer we often use it as a way to absolve ourselves of any responsibility to act in a way that is worthy of the gospel of Christ.
I have recently heard teaching on the idea that we should ‘pray the Psalms’ and, in many ways, I’m beginning to agree with it.
Different people have different Psalms that hold the most meaning for them. For me, at the moment, Psalm 51 says everything I want to say to God and so I read it as a prayer.
The words of ‘It’s a sin’ reminded me that we need to take responsibility for our actions and to admit our failings to God and pour out our hearts in sorrow and repentance to him.
If you don’t know how to do that, you don’t know what to say, a good place to start is to read the Psalms and find one which describes how you feel and start by praying it to God, over and over if you have to.
If you don’t think you could do that, maybe just read the words of the song ‘It’s a sin’. They may not be theologically perfect but they are real and raw and God will accept and respond to the cry of your heart.
God is waiting for you to turn to Him and isn’t there to condemn you but is ready to forgive and to comfort, to love and to uplift you. Our greatest strength is in our weakness, our greatest triumphs come when we admit that we are failures. When we put aside our pride and arrogance, then God can work in us and through us to do the work He has made us to do.Â
There’s never a better time to start than right now. God is waiting, are you willing?