I think it’s funny that I would be featured in a post titled “Discombobulated”. Thanks for the kind words Peter. God is doing it all. I am not capable of anything good. I’m just trying to be obedient. I am a million miles from perfect.
Mike hits the nail right on the head with that. Let me explain:
- Mike has total humility. He realizes that he can do nothing in his own strength. This is a very important attribute for all of us to learn. If we want to have a real Kingdom impact like Mike, we need to have real humility like him, although he is probably humble enough to deny that he is very humble!
- God has to do it – and Mike has to allow him to. This is the hardest part. We can fairly easily learn humility, there are a million ways for us to be humbled and to look up and realize that we are not invincible, infallible demi-gods, we’re mere mortals, fallen, sinful, full of faults and failings. Learning to give up our lives and give ourselves over to God is a totally different thing though. Learning to ‘let go and let God’, to listen to His call AND answer it, learning to die to ourselves so that we can live for him is so much harder than learning humility. You can be unsaved and be humble but allowing God to ‘do it all’ requires a change that can only come from a real connection to Him and a purposeful desire to live for Him.
It is the second point above which I struggle with so much. I can be humble. That’s not a very humble thing to say, I know, but when it comes down to it I’m coming to grips with the humility part it’s the whole ‘giving it over to God’ part that I struggle with.
Jason over at Connecting To Impact talked a little about this yesterday and many of the great blogs that I read have been talking about it too not least of which is Dan Edelen on his blog Cerulean Sanctum.
This may be why I’m feeling so discombobulated at the moment (sorry, I just love using that word). Maybe God is trying to break me like I keep asking Him to. Maybe He’s drawing me into a new level of dying to myself.
I hope so. Please pray that I (and you) can give up more and more of myself every day and live for Christ more each day.
Please pray also for my wife and kids that they will come along on this journey with me. They are with me thus far but part of what holds me back is this whole ‘looking after my family’ thing. The whole American dream, expectations deal.
In the run up to Christmas we did the 12 Days of Christmas Challenge which was a challenge to give something every day for God. Whether it was time or money or pride or whatever was required. That challenge was life changing, or at least it should have been. It felt that way at the time and I so desired to carry on after the challenge ended but somehow I have just drifted back into my old self-centered world.
My wife and I have been talking about this and we really want to be more intentional about dying to ourselves and giving for God but we’re stuck at this ridge that we can either butt up against for the rest of our lives and live a frustrating, self-centered existence or we can find a way to rise up and go over the ridge to keep following the path that God is trying to lead us down.
How about you? Is God calling you somewhere that you are resistant to go? Do you die to yourself daily? Have you taken up your cross or is it sitting beside you… waiting?