Mike Ellis, who I am so grateful to for opening up areas of the Internet which I never knew existed, posted a very sad picture earlier today. The picture is taken from the site PostSecret.com, I’d recommend that you go there but the site contains material which is, in Mike’s words ‘extrememly edgy’! So visit at your own risk.
PostSecret is a phenomenon which is sweeping across college campuses around the country and is reaching many other places on its way.
Started in 2005 by Frank Warren, PostSecret simply asks people to decorate a postcard and write on it one secret that they have never shared out loud then mail it anonymously to Mr Warren’s home.
Warren reports that he has now received over 200,000 such postcards and displays the pick of them on his website and in the four PostSecret books that he has published.
Many more than that have been written though because it has become common for people to write their secrets and place them within the pages of one of the PostSecrets books at a bookstore. The purchaser of the book then receives a ‘bonus’ of a secret which they are the only person in the world to have ever seen.
People also post their phone numbers on the PostSecret Myspace blog so anyone who wants to text a secret instead of writing it on a postcard can text it to a random recipient of their choosing. You can see a (clean) promotional video here.
PostSecret’s Wikipedia entry states: According to Youth Trends’ February 2008 “Top Ten List Report” PostSecret was the 10th most popular site amongst female students in the USA, with 7% of those polled naming the site as their favorite.
So why am I mentioning all of this?
Well… it’s because of the postcard that Mike Ellis used on his site:
PostSecret secrets are full of humor, hopes, dreams and memories but also pain, hardship, fear, anger, hatred and suffering.
The postcard you see here is one of the latter of those. A 16 year old scared because he or she might soon be living on the streets.
Not only that but they have no-one to talk to about it. This is a secret which they have never shared. Not with their father, their friends, their teachers, other family. No-one.
I don’t know which makes me cry the most, the fear they have or the loneliness.
Whichever one it is, my heart is breaking for that person. They’re in a car heading for a collision and they have no voice with which to scream, no-one to save them, no comfort, no peace.
200,000 postcards have been received. That’s 200,000 secrets that are being bottled up. 200,000 possibly hurting, aching, longing, needing to to talk but not being able to – and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
What’s your secret? What’s your secret that you want to tell someone but just can’t. What’s the secret of the guy behind the counter at your local Starbucks? What’s the secret of the girl you pass in the corridor at work every day and have never even spoken to? What’s your child’s secret? Your neighbors? Your Pastor’s? The couple you never speak to at church because you just don’t know how to start the conversation?
I want at this point to become the perfect teacher and get all religious on you bringing out the perfect scripture that talks about secrets being brought into the light or the truth setting you free or something like that but I just can’t.
You see, I just want to find that person who’s scared, who’s lonely, who’s hurting and I want to love on them. I just want them to know that they are not alone.
I believe that the bible is very important. I believe that everyone needs salvation, I really do, but I also believe that the church needs to stop sitting here spouting off appropriate passages to people from a distance and get out there and love them the way Jesus did.
Do you have a secret that you’re wanting to share? Just sharing your secret can go a long way. A problem shared really is a problem halved. If so, feel free to post a comment anonymously below and tell us what it is. Just put anonymous as the name and test@test.com as the email address and no-one will ever know it was you.
thank you for resisting the urge to give answers.
my secret: every woman I meet, i wonder what it would be like to get them in bed.
Thanks for the reminder anonymous….
I forget to mention that in my post that one of the things which makes PostSecret most successful is that very often people don’t want to be preached at, they don’t want someone to ‘solve’ their problem, they don’t even want to talk about it…. they just want to get it off their chest.
In the Christian world we are really bad at letting people do that. It’s like an itch that we just have to scratch and sometimes we just need to leave it alone!
Thanks for sharing.
My secret: I am addicted to porn. I have been clean for two years now but I’m terrified every day that today will be the day I break down and go back.
My secret: I’ve thought about cheating on my husband and/or ending my marriage because I want to be free.
Wow!!!! I loved this post. I try to remember when working with my various girls small groups that sometimes they just need a safe place to share their concerns, secrets, regrets, and failures without feeling like they are going to receive a lecture. It’s so easy to fall into that “fix it” mode, but most of the time they already know what was wrong with their actions or thoughts and just need to share it with someone. It helps more to be that shoulder to cry on then the one with the iron fist. Jesus listened first and spoke to people’s hearts with love and compassion. He told them what they needed to hear (and it wasn’t always pretty or comfortable), but He had the advantage of seeing straight to their hearts. There is a time and place to give “tough love”, but I think it’s more important to first give LOVE.
You got it Tina!
There’s a time and a place for everything!
It takes GREAT COURAGE to share a secret in ANY context. It takes GREATER COURAGE to share a secret verbally (or not anonymously) with someone. I lived with secrets for a LONG time in my life. Those secrets held me in BONDAGE in MANY MANY ways. As I kept those secrets to myself, I sentenced myself to dealing with the pain of those secrets ALONE! I felt powerless and in great shame. I felt that NO ONE would accept me if they REALLY knew me and what I had done and was doing. Of course, there is some truth in that. Unfortunately there are some who will judge and condemn BUT there are also MANY who will love and accept! This is where the COURAGE comes in. We have to take the PRAYERFUL risk to share our secrets with others whom we trust. There is great FREEDOM when we do! Also, when we take the prayerful risk in sharing our secrets it will encourage others to do the same!
Thanks Kevin, that’s a great point – or some great points.
I am with you entirely, however, for some people, just putting it out there anonymously might be the first step they need to build up that courage.
This is an incredible post and has given me much food for thought. When I think of secrets, I think of accountability, and having someone you allow to hold you accountable, allow yo call you on your behavior. But this is much deeper, opening up to someone with something that cannot be seen by another unless you share it.
I am so blessed to have a Savior who has already forgiven me my sins, who already knows my secrets and has dealt with them in His way. I will always look to share my secrets with Him, opening up in prayer and supplication rather than relying on His omnipotence and grace.
Amen Andy.
I’ve read PostSecret a few times, but to be honest I never really gave it any sort of deep thought like this. It’s strange how this little project has become this phenomenon – illustrating a great need among people to share the dark parts of their lives.
Hi Matt,
I think that if I hadn’t been directed there by Mike Ellis and wasn’t in the right mood, I wouldn’t have thought anything particularly deep either.
It’s strange how we’re sent to the lost and hurting and oftentimes we see them and don’t even notice!
I appreciate your post. There are so many hurting, struggling, lost souls out there – we come into contact with them everyday – but until the Spirit opens our eyes to them we pay no attention.
I like Andy’s comments on accountability, and finding that person who you can trust and dump to is huge. I pray that visitors here may dump, find some sense of freedom and then find someone close enough to them to share with that can walk through whatever that scenario is.
Glad to have found your sight through the good ol Blogapalooza!
Blogapalooza is great for finding new parts of the family who we have never met before.
I guess in many ways it helps us rediscover the Church!
Glad you found your way here. I checked out your blog and will be following it regularly!
I followed you back here from my blog, via Matt’s blog. I don’t even know what to say except, wow. I don’t know you from Adam, but for some reason I really believe that you are completely sincere when you write:
“You see, I just want to find that person who’s scared, who’s lonely, who’s hurting and I want to love on them. I just want them to know that they are not alone.”
and I want to tell you that after I finish this comment, I am going to log off my computer, go somewhere quiet, and thank God that there are people like you. Thank you.
Katdish,
Awesome name btw!
Thank you for your kind comments. I don’t think I’m any different to anyone else really. I see someone hurting and just want to give them a hug – but most of the time I’m too chicken to do so.
If wanting to do that is anything special, it’s all God and I give glory to Him for it!
Hey Peter, this is indeed a great post.
Thanks Boaly, I appreciate the encouragement
I was captured as I read through many of the postings.
It saddens me that the ability to forgive “others” and that very special ability to even forgive “our self” is so neglected, laying in the shadow of shattered dreams or empty theological waste lands.
In the scheme of humanity, in that we are all imperfect and incomplete, we have all suffered, have our own areas of weakness, and secrets, some unfortunately with a destructive nature.
In that we produce change by starting at home base, a heart for healing and forgiveness, not judgement. (Allowing I to be forgiven.)
I am trying not to be “preachy” in all of this and respect the boundaries and precedent of said postings.
I guess then, don’t give up, hope is powerful. We really do need each other.
Very true Randy, that’s a secret that so many of us carry around: I can’t forgive myself.
We need to start forgiving ourselves – after all, God already has!
I have found in the course of trying to write this out that I am not even able to type my secret out anonymously. I would just ask that you pray for me—anyone reading this. Just pray. I am posting this much because of your statement of wanting to offer comfort and love. And I thank you, most especially katdish—that’s another reason I am able to even type this through my tears.
I believe that I am forgiven by God (though I don’t always “feel” it) but I live in fear of having my secret exposed, which would cause suffering to people I love.
Please pray for me.
You are being prayed for, whoever you are.
feel free to come back and post your secret if you are ever feeling able to.