1 John 4:10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
This is the second part in a 3 part series entitled ‘Don’t talk of love – SHOW ME!‘.
Yesterday we looked at how we need to show love to our spouses not just talk about loving them.
Today, we turn our eyes toward Christians, as the world does, and say: Don’t talk of love – SHOW ME, Christian.
We here in the Western world live in societies where Christianity is well known about. Maybe it’s a little misunderstood, but most people have heard of it and most know (or think they know) its basic commands and foundations – the greatest of which is love.
The reason so many people are turned off of the church is that we talk about love; ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ and ‘God is love’ and ‘Jesus loves you!’ but we don’t SHOW it.
Just as our spouses will have difficulty believing that we love them if we say it but never show it, so the world has difficulty believing that we love them and more importantly that GOD loves them if we never show it to them.
Answer this question to yourself:
Do you show love to people any more than their non-Christian friends do? Is there truly any difference between your ‘Christian’ love and their ‘worldly’ love?
The bible gives us many, many descriptions of how we should love others and what love is and we are really good at talking about it, telling people about it and challenging others to do it. We’re really not so good at actually doing it ourselves though.
Take this description of love from 1 Corinthians 13:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Do people see that you love them? Do they see that you are patient, kind, not envious or boastful or proud? Do they see that you are not rude or self-seeking, not easily angered and that you keep no record of wrongs? Do they see you protect, trust, hope and persevere? Does your love never fail?
This is what the world needs. They don’t need a 3-point sermon, they need us to SHOW them love.
You can witness to anyone simply by showing outrageous, unconditional, unfailing love.
Listen to the world as it says Don’t talk of love – SHOW ME, Christian!
Action more than words, walking the walk. There are many trite phrases we could use. I know I do not do enough, and may never do enough to show true Christian love. But that should not be an excuse not to try.
As that old Nike campaign use to say: JUST DO IT!
It’s such a radical command because it’s so hard. We can’t show love to other Christians who disagree with us about some little thing. We can’t show love to people who disagree with us about everything because our pride is wounded.
Which is why we need to learn to die to ourselves.
Die to our pride, die to our un-forgiveness and disagreements and replace them all with love!
Very challenging post Peter.
I often think that we’re sitting rehearsing our answer for the hope that we have. And wonder why no one asks for it.
Lives lived as you have described here would go a long way in causing the question to be asked of us.
Wow, Boaly hit right where I am at this moment. Great post- challenging but needs to be spoken over and over and over and over again.
If I’m being honest, I find it easier to show love to non-believers and Christians that are of like mind. I can become pretty easily annoyed with someone who wants to tell me that my theology is whack and why I should know better (as in, I should agree with them).
On a sort of related note, whenever I put the label “atheist” on a blog post, I always get some atheist who leaves this really long comment about how it has been proven that there is no God. Which is completely ridiculous. So I figure, there are people just searching blogs to pick a fight. I’m always very respectful to them because I think that those who are most opposed to Christianity are often the ones who are secretly hoping that they are wrong. Just a theory…
Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited.
Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[b]says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:9-21
Peter,
I readily understand the post by Katdish as I have in the past debated in both theological chat rooms, atheist rooms, and of course, those live encounters presented to us in life that challenge and provoke.
It seems to me our “specfic theology,” those details of what and why we believe, can be a major stumbling block to loving the unloved and those who “are not of our kind.” As we say on Kauai, “who da kine and what da kine.”
What we believe must be balanced with the concept stated by the Apostle Paul, “to be all things to all men.” This ability is rooted in love, the assurance of Christ active and alive in our heart, the conviction that the weightier matters of the law are love and mercy-Equating to the need to reach lost souls and encourage the weak and feeble.
This is only done in our reliance upon Christ, dying to self. Thus, our “specific theology” dims somewhat as we understand that we all “see dimly” through a glass.
Now then, our exegesis of scripture is important. In summary, the process to major on things important, ignore what we can, and come along side with whole heart where we agree.
Randy
Thanks for chiming in Randy!
Miss you man!
John 13:35
By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.
I often have to remind myself of this. I can come across as focusing too much on theology and doctrine. I have to remember that things of that sort will never bring someone to the Lord, because those things can only speak to someone’s mind. Love speaks to their heart where the change really needs to take place.
Ever since I wrote this post, I’ve been singing the song “By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” in my head.
Two great minds think alike John!
I don’t believe that another person’s salvation rests upon my shoulders and how much “love” I can show.
I think our real work is to have relationships with people Christ has already given us—as Jon @ SCL points out so beautifully in today’s post (nature’s mysteries v. the mystery of his wife)– We don’t need to try to have “radical outrageous love” for the Joe on the street –it’s a fake and a crock.
God has put enough real people in our paths on a normal day-to-day basis with whom we are to have real realtionships and show *real* sacrificial love to: the difficult co-worker, the atheist brother-in-law, the whiny neighbor, the hypochondriacal friend.
Peter, you ask: “Do people see that you love them? Do they see that you are patient, kind, not envious or boastful or proud? Do they see that you are not rude or self-seeking, not easily angered and that you keep no record of wrongs? Do they see you protect, trust, hope and persevere? Does your love never fail?”
My only answers could be: Well, sure, sometimes. But not always. And I can only imagine that this would be the answer for every Christian on earth. — (Except maybe Billy Graham. But I think he’s in heaven now—so now he could probably say yes to ALL of the above.) —And I would further answer, Christ needs to continue his work on me, and on you and all of us.
Why get in a swivet about how well we are “representin’ ” to the world? Christians (at least, seemingly, in the blogosphere) seem to be more concerned with the image than the substance. What should I do and how should I act to make sure I’m being a “good” Christian; i.e. ” the world has difficulty believing that we love them and more importantly that GOD loves them if we never show it to them.” and “How do we attract more people to our church?”
Or maybe it’s just that blogging Christians are more prone to this sort of worldview. By nature, I would imagine that those who go to the effort to blog are more expressive, so maybe that’s why they’re always considering the “spin.”
We ourselves are poor and weak representations of Christ, especially to people we do not know. I believe our challenge is to have relationships with the people God has already given us, so that they care about the hope that is in our hearts—a hope that is a genuine and deep one. Yes, they will know we are Christians by our love, but is this a fruit of the Holy Spirit? ….or something we can try really reeeeally hard to improve on, and get better at…?
“People” are turned off by churches, you posit, because they don’t see enough love. But, are we giving enough love to our spouse? children? extended family? neighbors? co-workers?
Since God is clearly a God of order, I don’t think these people’s lives are intermingled with ours casually or randomly.
Finally: “You can witness to anyone simply by showing outrageous, unconditional, unfailing love.”
Have you ever been able to do that? in any sort of sustained fashion?
I think there is only One who could make that claim.
Hi Heartafire,
Thanks for taking the time to comment in such detail.
I don’t totally disagree with you. One of the problems I see with people who take the kind of view that ‘we’ll never achieve perfection’ is that all too often they use that as an excuse to not try at all – to not be transformed by the renewing of their minds.
What I’m talking about is an ideal, something to aim at.
I don’t mean that we should go out and do some fake loving, I’m saying that we need to get out of the theoretical and start putting our beliefs into practice in EVERY area of our lives.
The issue I’m getting at is that we talk about love but don’t show it, not in our homes, not in our workplaces, not in our communities, not even in our churches.
Are you suggesting that we will never love the way that 1 Corinthians 13 describes all the time so therefore we shouldn’t even try to become a people known for their love?
Thanks for responding Peter. I truly appreciate the engagement.
Yes, I am saying exactly that: we will never (in this sphere anyway) exhibit that kind of love, but of course that does not take away from the fact that Cor. 13 is our ideal. So , absolutely yes, that is how Christ calls us to love, but no, we will never attain it here on earth.
I am trying to point out the fact that “trying” and “shoulds” get our focus on ourselves, and how we are behaving, and we begin measuring outcomes by our standards rather than that of Christ.
I believe if that we are in Christ and truly seeking his will and growing in knowledge and love of him, that love and good works are the natural and fruitful outcome. We cannot help but exhibit his love. They are NOT something we should “work on.” We can’t. As we grow in Christ we learn more and more to be listening to what He directs. And good works are the fruit. Not the root.
IOW, have you ever known someone who was a mature grounded Christian who did NOT do good works and whose life did NOT exhibit supernatural love? I have not. Of course, I have known tons of Christians who were not yet able to do lots of sacrificial work and who did not exhibit supernatural love on a regular basis, but who, if they’re in Christ, are growing that way. BUT, they are not growing that way as a result of being told to, but by the indwelling of the holy spirit.
I feel we’ve got it completely backwards when we exhort people to good works and have (and teach!) the mindset that that is what “Christians” do. And further, that that is how “others” judge Chrsitianity and even Christ. By how we act.
IOW, if I have a lot of good works, and show a lot of “luv” (as distinguished from Corinthians 13 “love”), people will know I am a Christian and will therefore be drawn to Christ because of how I am behaving. That is what I disagree with.
You write: “I’m saying that we need to get out of the theoretical and start putting our beliefs into practice in EVERY area of our lives.” YES, that is so. But I would like for you to put yourself in the mind of a non-believer when you are preaching (because Christ came to save the lost). How does that preach to them? (And can’t we just stipulate that if a person is in Christ, the good works will eventua
Verse to live by: “We love because He first loved us.”
To me that says that the ONLY way we can love and the REASON we can love at all, is that Christ loves us. My contention is that it is a comensurate love, i.e. to the degree that we can know Christ’s love for us, we are able to love others. If we know and grow in that love (that Christ has, specifically, for me) then it is not any chore or task or even “area for improvement” to love other people and to serve them. True love, Deep love.
If I were a minister of the gospel, I would spend my entire ministry on this message. I would not encourage people to act or do anything other than grasp this love—-“how wide and high and long and deep”—and in that way, I believe the church would be full of people who could not help but open soup kitchens, clothes closets, prison ministry, feed the hungry, give sacrificially, etc.
The outcome of “love without condition” is not lawless, sinful, devil-may-care living. It is overwhelming gratitude and abundance, and true love and cup-running-over giving.
I thought a lot about this:
“One of the problems I see with people who take the kind of view that ‘we’ll never achieve perfection’ is that all too often they use that as an excuse to not try at all – to not be transformed by the renewing of their minds.”
Of course, it’s true that people say that. But are you trying to tell me that you know a Christian who would defend this?
No, that is surely an excuse of a non-believer. People have all kinds of reasons for not believing, so they’ll use anything that makes sense on a secular level: “well, it’s impossible to be that good, that loving, so I’m not even going to try.”
My point is, the Christian message should be [and actually IS]: “Don’t WORRY about that stuff—It will come. But “seek ye first, and all these things will be ADDED unto you.”
Not, “Look around you and see all the good that Christians are doing, and join them.”
I appreciate your blog and your willingness to discuss this. I confess that I have too much love of a good disagreement– I do apologiize for my strident tone (would re-write if I had time) Another verse, though, that comes to mind is: “as iron sharpens iron” and I sincerely appreciate your engagement.
“are you trying to tell me that you know a Christian who would defend this?”
No, but that’s part of the point, Christians wouldn’t defend this in speech because they know it’s indefensible. The reason for exhortation though is that you have to have someone putting them in a position where they have to face up to the reality of what they are doing.
If you are never asked to defend your actions, your actions will very often not change.
I do know many many Christians who live this way ” I can’t achieve perfection so I won’t try”. I’m sure you do too. This is why we need to exhort people to think about what they truly believe.
I absolutely agree that everything has to come from a basis of love and that love should be taught but I don’t think that we can exclude from our teaching the idea that action is an expected outcome of that love.
Jesus said: “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,” (Luke 6:27) He didn’t say “Love your enemies and love those who hate you” He included both love and action in His teaching.
I am only doing the same, trying to encourage people to put the love that is growing in them into action.
Love is such a touchy subject, “Perhaps a little pun in that statement if you dig deep enough!”
First of all Peter, I got a quick smile out oF ‘MY FAIR LADY.”
On the subject of Show me love, I default to the concept that “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. ”
It seems to me, first of all, that love is expansive, at the heart and foundation of who God is Himself. The character of love is listed in 1st Corinthians 13, easy to understand and detailed, painfully precise that we quickly find our shortcomings. Yet, no strain or condemnation in that we have an advocate, Christ Jesus and that we are earthen clay vessels.
Back to it, God so loved that He gave His Son. We immediately see that as love takes on a purity, as in being wired to the source, God Himself: Love will be displayed to others as sacrifice. The Apostle Paul was spent, sacrificing his body. Jesus Christ on the cross for our sins.
Love very much becomes the action of loving others without expectation of reward or merit, the act of simply illumination, our love towards Christ. In that we have responded to His love and become a transformer, the light that shines in the darkness, in the darkness!
In this we find the expansive nature of the love of Christ filtering into and tapping the eternal image we are adapting to be.
Randy
Thanks Randy.
Great response!
This is a huge problem for many professing Christians. All of them speak of Love, but many do not live a life of love. Let us practice what we preach, then the lost will see the truth of the word of God.