The big one (part 2)

photo_3405_20090107Yesterday I started telling you about all that has been going on in my life over the past week. Today, I’ll hopefully fill in the rest.

After the AV Christian Writer’s Conference, I ate at In-n-Out (which is a BIG deal to me).

After that brief pit-stop, I drove home to be with my family and a visiting missionary who arrived at my house a little before me.

Rob Vanden Bos is a mentor and friend and I was very excited that he was coming to stay for a while.

Based in the Philippines, Rob spends a couple of months every year here in the States, working to earn money to fund his projects in the mission field. It’s just incredible to sit and listen to him talk about all they do out there on a little island of less than 300,00 people.

I was really hoping that God would speak to me through Rob while he was here and for a while it looked like I was going to be disappointed, but God spoke in his own good time!

Rob spoke at our worship gathering about the river Jordan and how the Israelite priests had to step out into it, in the middle of flood season, in the faith that God would help them cross safely (see my post about it here).

Rob then related it to us… What is God asking us to do that seems crazy, seems insurmountable, seems too risky or dangerous? God doesn’t always open the way and smooth the path before we step out, sometimes he asks us to step out and trust him to bring us through safely.

This played heavily on my mind for a day or so. What is God calling me to do? I know there is something. I know I have a river Jordan that I’m holding back from.

I wrote a list of questions to help me think through what I was feeling but I was getting nowhere answering them.

On Monday evening I spent some time in prayer with Rob and another man, a spiritual giant who I don’t spend enough time with. It was a great time and during it I had what I believe was a revelation moment – but God didn’t leave it at that, he then also answered some of my questions through these two great men.

Revelation moment: God is calling me and my family to be missionaries. I’m going to blog a lot about this, I’m sure, but for now, let’s just say that I already know where and when, I just have to convince my family!

Answers to questions: What is my river Jordan? Fear of failure. It’s as simple as that. Of course, I knew that, it’s a life theme for me, but the two men who told me couldn’t have known except by divine revelation. When I say I knew it, I mean I knew that it was true, I didn’t know that was what God wants to deal with right now though. Rob (the missionary) then went on to answer four more of my questions and the answers are basically this: I’m scared! They are both fairly convinced though that God is going to do something in me that will help me get past all of this and step out into the river in faith!

Those of you who have been following my blog for a while will know that fear is something I have struggled with for a long time. I’m sure it’s not going to be easy moving out of the paralysing fear that I now feel into the success and freedom that God has planned for me but I’m excited to walk the path and find out where it leads.

In the last couple of days, I have read numerous blog posts that it seems were written just for me right here, right now. God is pretty amazing like that. Posts like this by Francis Chan, this one by JasonS, this one (also by JasonS) and this one by Gary Boal have really spoken to me. 

God is doing something… it’s exciting and scary at the same time!

How about you, what is God doing in your life? More importantly, what are you running away from and not letting him do in your life?