I spent all day yesterday trying to work out what my ‘Jordan’ is, what it is that God wants me to step out into in faith. See yesterday’s post for a recap on the story of Joshua telling the priests carrying the ark of the covenant to walk into a flooded river.
As I wrestled with pinning down what my ‘Jordan’ is, I came up with the following three sets of questions, which get progressively more painful to answer. I thought maybe they would help you focus your thoughts a little:
- What is God calling me to do?
- What have I said NO to?
- What do I refuse to give up?
- What is holding me back?
OK, so they are quite searching questions which require total honesty with yourself. Are you prepared to truly ask yourself those questions? Are you prepared to answer honestly? If so then when you’ve answered them, move on to these harder ones:
- WHY have I said no to God about something?
- WHY do I refuse to give things up?
- WHY do I hold back?
I told you they were a little harder. You have to be a little more raw and transparent with yourself to answer this set. Now come the really hard ones though:
- How can I turn my NO to a YES?
- How can I let go?
My advice is that, if you want to just keep on with your same old same old and not move deeper into finding what God is calling you to do, I wouldn’t even ask yourself those last two questions. If you ask them, expect God to hear and expect him to answer – then do what He says.
It’s a scary and blind journey that God is leading me on and I truly hope and pray that you come on this journey with me. If you know that there is a river Jordan out there and God is telling you to step into the waters without any sign of his provision then seek out that river, seek out that calling and step out in faith.
God is always faithful. He will not let you drown or be swept away.
Some people plead the 5th, others their humanity- In this case I just plead before Jesus Christ.
I ask all these internal questions you mentioned above from “time to time,” as I do not want to live in agony! LOL!
So I find myself on your blog and here come the questions, again!
Processing.
I do find I live in a state of brokeness these days, not just because of a trial or deep sorrow, but this a state of heart, a way of life. I have true sadness for what I see: undesirable things happening among brothers and sisters, in the world, and finally, very close ones to include self.
In this, how inept I am to change and yet find I do believe anything is possible with God. However, that which is important, is to be in pursuit of peace and joy, of His grace and anointing, and that which points toward humility. In transition to the reality this whole Christian experience should become more about Christ as we mature, about His coming and His will be done. So then, the process of dying to self, fully understanding I am judicially saved. Daily santification is a painful process of looking at our own sin, self ambition, lack of faith, etc. (Not so fun!)
I hope this paradigm is a formula towards an active faith that leads to a purity of fearing God and not man, of being a priest that will cross the Jordan river. In that Christ is glorified as His Holy Spirit moves through a Holy yielded vessel- Not of the other merit we so often see- The merchandizing of a spiritual gift, preeminence and lording over others, showmanship, or entertainment!
Honesty requires we see the merits of the world active in us, the love of self, our disposition to sin, that often we are an active agent of harm. Therefore, armed with this conviction of sin, we see motive and have heart desire to change. All this is an internal change and that which lends to faith.
Sorry for being long-winded, but this comes forth from my heart.
Christ has made provision even unto us being Holy before Him.
This reminds me of what I told our church this Sunday. I was very clear that they shouldn’t pray it if they didn’t mean it because it’s very serious. These were the two prayers: Lord, what do you want to change in me right now? and What do you want to change through me right now?
This is a great post. We have to ask these questions and allow the Holy Spirit to search us and expose what holds us back or we get stuck. Thanks Peter.
You’re right, Peter, it can be scary to face the river. It scares us because we now have to put up or shut up. As it says in 2 Corinthians 5:7 “For we walk by faith, not sight.”
As accustomed to walking by sight that we are, this step of faith can really shake us up. It all boils down to a simple question: Do you trust God? Is it Yes, or No?
There is no room for “Yes…but…” it’s either one or the other.
If your calling is clear, there’s really only one answer.
And, I would add – once you cross the river, there’s no going back. Polish your armor and sharpen your sword… you’re going to need them.
Thanks for the great replies guys.
As Joe says, Do we trust God, Yes or No?
WHOO! Bring the Jordan!! but, God…you go first, m’kay? 🙂
Funny how it’s so easy for me to ask God questions and so hard to ask questions of myself.
I’m totally with you there, Billy!