I have trouble connecting with people.
Sure I can have friendships and relationships, but actually really connecting to the point that I truly care deeply about people is very hard for me.
I don’t even really get all that sad when people die. That’s not because of any religious beliefs, it’s because I don’t feel deeply enough.
I saw a therapist for a year or so and this was one of the things we talked about a lot. I care about people but it’s on a much more superficial level than I’d generally like to admit.
This is even true with my kids. I love them, I care about them but it’s not a deep, deep connection.
Years ago, I started praying about this and I didn’t really seem to get much response from God… until a few days ago.
The cute man pictured here is my son, Caleb. The way our lives are currently ordered I’m a stay-at-home dad, so I get to spend all day every day with my son. At least, I do until next Wednesday.
Next Wednesday, Caleb starts school for the first time. My little man will be a Kindergartner.
The other day, that fact really hit me. My son, who I spend all day every day with, is going to be in school six hours a day. I’m no longer going to get to spend every day with him. He’s growing up and our daily hang-out that we’ve had for the past three years is going to change.
I suddenly became very sad and emotional. I am actually going to miss him. I’m regretting the time I wasted not fully interacting with him. I’m sad that I won’t get to be with him all day any more. I really care deeply about this.
You see, God has answered my prayer. He put me in a situation where this would happen. He made it so I would have the opportunity to become attached to my son and be used to having him with me all the time. If I had been out at work all day every day, I would not be feeling the way I am now. God arranged things so I would start connecting on a deeper level.
Thank you God, for giving this to me. Thank you for helping me start to connect with people more deeply. I pray that I will continue down this path and be able to really love people the way you do, to hurt for them and care for them the way you want me to!