Why is it that it’s so much easier to knock someone down than to lift them up?
At least, why does it come easier to us to do it that way around?
I’ve watched my children and, from the time they could first push and hit, they have been fighting for dominance.
In everything they do, they battle with each other over who’s the best.
Whether it’s who can get up the stairs first:
“I won!”
“No you didn’t, you cheated, you didn’t even say we were racing until you were half-way up.”
Or who got the bigger portion of chips with their dinner
“My pile’s bigger than yours!”
“That’s just because mine are more crushed, I’ve actually got more, it just looks like you have.”
Or whatever it may be – everything is a competition.
I’m sure there are some positive aspects to competing in this way but the problem lies in knowing when to stop.
All through our lives we jostle for position with the people around us, subtly (or not-so-subtly) trying to raise ourselves above them. Maybe we don’t do it maliciously or even purposefully but all too often, if we take an honest look at how we have been talking to and treating others, we see that we are just elbowing ourselves into a position of superiority.
It seems to me though that, as Christians, we should be doing things differently.
Jesus said many little things like this in Matthew 19:29-30:
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.
Jesus seems to be suggesting that those who give up what they have, including their position and power here on earth will be rewarded for it in heaven.
It’s almost like he’s suggesting that humility is something we should strive for. You could almost convince me that he taught us:
For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. (Matthew 23:12)
If we are truly to be different from the world. In the world but not of the world, born again, new creations, children of God, heirs of the Kingdom then we have to make a conscious effort to watch our tongues and our motives. We need to humble OURSELVES. Humility takes a conscious effort. It requires dying to yourself and instead looking to the needs of others.
Our job is to lift each other up, to encourage one another, to help each other with no thought to our own advancement but simply because it is right and good.
With our naturally in-built competitiveness it is easy to slip into worldly power-struggles and manipulation for personal gain. We must therefore be on our guard every minute we are awake ready to catch ourselves before we put someone else down and instead life them up with words of praise and encouragement.
How can you lift someone up today? In what area of your life do you still need to work on being humble instead of self-serving?
“Our job is to lift each other up, to encourage one another, to help each other with no thought to our own advancement but simply because it is right and good.”
I think about how God lifts me up and encourages me even when I can do absolutely nothing for Him. When I carry this mindset, my arms reach out to lift up in humility.
Keep looking at the Father and I easily relax into humility and thankfulness.
Thanks, Peter!
Competitiveness is an animal instinct, without competitiveness species would die out as weaker species of organisms would continue to survive, downgrading the gene pool by producing even more weaker organisms. In the context of kids, they’re learning, and I think the next step is to teach acceptance when you don’t win. As a kid I’d always start running before I actually announce to said person that we’re in a race lol. It’s fun! Though technically is cheating
Another thing kids should know is when to know when to stop. When lions fight each other, one either stops, comes back later and better fights again or one continues to when it shouldn’t and then gets killed. Yep, that’s my analogy lol it’s the only one I could think of
The whole ‘knowing when to stop’ thing is what my kids find hardest to do.
It’s also what a lot of adults find difficult – knowing where the line is between having fun and hurting people.
Thanks for your great response, Sensico!
cool intense debate
But does it do all the things you've been demanding of my blog?
well yeah, all I wanted to do was subscribe to comments via email so I won't have to keep coming here to read responses lol
I didn't know that would require intense debate, but it's cool and looks shiny and I can give myself a thumbs up! lol
I don't know if my original comment went through so I'll try again, ahem,
well yeah, all I wanted to do was subscribe to comments via email so I won't have to keep coming here to read responses lol I like this intense debate, it looks shiny
but your emoticons don't work anymore, take it off!! lol
When you use different details every time like different blog names and stuff, it will put your comments in a moderation queue every time
So.. are you getting the replies by email?
You can now log in with your Twitter account, if you want, too.
no it's not sending me emails but I believe theres a delay so I might get it later on tonight.
You should be getting emails… I'm getting your emailed responses.
Good post! I am usually a great encourager with everyone…except my husband. With him, I tend to point out the areas where I want him to “do better” instead of acknowledging the areas where he excels. It is always motivated out of my own selfish wants. I am praying a lot right now about dying to self and building him up, because he is an awesome man!
Building up our spouses is, strangely, one of the hardest things to do.
I think it's awesome that you are actively praying about how to build him up!
Beautifully said – (that the action/intent has to come from US):
“We need to humble OURSELVES. Humility takes a conscious effort. It requires dying to yourself and instead looking to the needs of others.”
I love how you painted a picture, with scripture as the outline, on why humbling ourselves has to happen before it’s possible to truly encourage someone else.
Thank you for the food for thought! (and action)
Our job is to lift each other up, to encourage one another, to help each other with no thought to our own advancement but simply because it is right and good.
True that. Yet in building up one another, we do advance ourselves, because we are part of one another. Failure to build up others weakens the whole and therefore weakens ourselves. And if we’re divided (sometimes necessary), we’re weaker yet.
Humility takes a conscious effort. It requires dying to yourself and instead looking to the needs of others.
Amen! Pride takes a severe toll when we fail to die to Self. The cost can never be overestimated. Yet we can’t fail to nourish ourselves also. Humility isn’t self-depreciation. “True humility is not an abject, groveling, self-despising spirit. It is but a right estimate of ourselves as God sees us.” (Tryon Edwards) I think humility bows to God’s perception of both ourselves and others, neither too exalted or demeaned.
The irony of all this is that even though I see myself as a cheerleader for “Building Up His Body,” I can be blindsided by my pride. I still catch myself getting knocked down, and unintentionally knocking down others. *sigh*
Amen, brother!
I loved, “we need to humble OURSELVES.” So against our human nature, but so much a part of our new nature in Christ. May He strengthen us all in our weakness in this. Thanks, Peter!