I’ve posted some pretty amazing guest blog posts recently, but I have never posted one quite like this one.
Chrystie Cole (twitter) is an amazing writer who shares her thoughts regularly on her blog, Path From the Head to the Heart. I am so very grateful that she chose to share this post with us today, it’s one that she first posted on her blog a little while ago and when she offered it to me as a guest post, I jumped at the chance!
I love her writing and I love what she brings out of her experience at the end. Thank you, Chrystie for sharing this with us:
Months of planning, physical training and anticipation led to this moment. After making some last minute phone calls, preparations and final baggage checks, we departed for the airport. With his hand in mine, I sat in silence, staring out the window at road signs whizzing by.
The night before was hectic and we stirred late into the night as he packed his bags, and checked and re-checked his lists. My eye lids, heavy from the lack of sleep, were nothing compared to the weight I felt in my heart.
Entering the airport parking lot, he pulled alongside the curb and parked the car. My pulse quickened, knowing it was time to say goodbye. I watched him closely, drinking in the beauty of his eyes, the glow in his face, the love in his smile. He looked like a kid about to go on his first roller coaster ride. Excitement, apprehension, and joy oozed from his pores. He was ready.
I didn’t expect to get emotional. I don’t know why. I always do. My picture is located next to the word emotional in the dictionary. I feel everything deeply. Why I thought this would be an exception, I am not sure. But as I stood curbside with my arms around my husband, I wondered if it would it be the last time. And when that thought came, so did the tears.
I’ve never cried when seeing him off on a journey before, but then he has never been on a journey quite like this one. His adoring smile and the twinkle in his eyes reflected his love for me as he watched the tears trickle down my cheeks.
I didn’t want to let him go. I could have stood on that curb holding him all day long. I thought about how often I take the blessing of holding him for granted. I lose myself in the daily grind of household chores, work, and minor irritations, offering him a quick kiss when he walks in the door from work and moving on about my business. But, as I stood there contemplating what it would be like to never hold him again, I realized those moments should be relished.
It was time for him to go, but before I could let him leave, I had to pray. With my arms wrapped around him and my head buried in his neck, I prayed for God’s hand to be upon him during his travels. I prayed for him to experience the beauty and majesty of God’s kingdom and to know the joy in reaching the summit of Mt. Ranier. But most of all, I prayed that God would return him to my arms safe and sound.
One final kiss goodbye and he was off. There was almost a skip in his step as he walked away. The excitement of the adventure was obvious in his demeanor. He was made for this kind of thing. It courses through his veins. Sometimes, I think it’s what makes his heart beat. He loves adventure, like I love words. It’s his passion.
Sliding into the car, I felt the hot tears streaming down my face. I continued to mumble prayers for safety under my breath as I pulled out of the airport parking lot. The fear of what ifs sat in the passenger seat next to me.
“Ken will be fine. This isn’t that big of a deal. Trust God to bring him home safe and sound,” I said, trying to redirect my thoughts.
But trusting God offers no assurances of safety, restored health or protection from bad things on this side of heaven. Trusting God doesn’t mean that He will bring Ken home safely. Being a Christian doesn’t ensure things will go my way. The princess does not always find the prince. Our loved ones are not always healed from diseases. Bad things do happen. The rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.
True trust in God is trusting in His character and in His sovereignty. Easton’s defines sovereignty as, “of God, his absolute right to do all things according to his good pleasure.” God tells me in His word that He causes all things to work together for the good (Rom 8:28 NLT). This verse doesn’t promise a trouble free life. It says He causes ALL things (even the bad) to work together for the ultimate good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Making the decision to trust Him, means trusting in His way even when it is unclear or not what I hoped for. It means trusting in His sovereignty when the worst has happened. It means knowing He is at work during good times and bad. It means trusting in His character and word. It means that no matter what happens, I believe He is there, He has a plan and it is for good. He is for me, not against me. It all works together to make up the beautiful tapestry of His will. And in those brief moments that He allows me to see it through His eyes, it is stunning.
I am thankful He spoke to my heart this morning and reminded me what trusting Him is really about. But I am still praying He returns my sweet husband home to me soon!