I am NOT OK

This blog has been a little light on posts lately and I’m very sorry about that. I’ve just been busy with Christmas and spending time with my family.

Normal service will be restored soon, but not quite yet. Here’s why:

  1. My wife’s Grandmother just died and we are down visiting with the VERY large family and getting ready for the funeral.
  2. I am NOT okay.
    1. In church this weekend I realized that I have lost my joy. I am tired and grouchy and stressed constantly. I no longer even have any joy orย comfort in my salvation.
    2. My wife’s Grandma’s death has hit me hard. I wasn’t at all close to her or anything but it has made me very aware of my wife’s mortality. I can’t imagine losing her. I don’t know what I would do!
    3. All these thoughts of death have made me question again my own ‘achievements’. Really, what have I ever done that really matters? When I stand before God and give account for what I did, what will I say? I learned how to make a pretty mean chocolate cake… and eat it all in a couple of days? I’m feeling like I’m missing my calling, not achieving what i should be achieving.

The blog carnival tomorrow should have been hosted here but instead will be hosted by Bridget over at Bridgetchumbley.com. I’m sorry I haven’t read all of the posts from the last carnival yet. I can’t guarantee that I’ll read all of this week’s – or even participate but I sure appreciate everyone who gets involved. You all are wonderful!

Hopefully I’ll be back with something a little more positive soon!

God bless you all in this coming year,

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Peter