Oh Flip-Flops, I Hate You

We went to Six Flags Hurricane Harbor yesterday, which is a water park a little north of LA.

Someone warned us before we went that the ground there can be very rough on your feet, so it’s wise to take flip flops that you can slip on your feet when you’re not in the water.

So… one trip to Walmart to buy flip-flops and one day at Hurricane Harbor later… here’s my take on flip-flops:

 

Oh Flip Flops, I hate you.

I’m sorry, it’s true.

I hate you with a vengeance,

I really, really do.

 

You seem such great idea,

But it’s just a trick.

There’s nothing to praise,

Not one little bit!

 

Sure you’re convenient,

But that’s by the by.

‘Cos wearing you’s worse than

Getting poked in the eye.

 

You’re painful, you flap about,

You make people trip.

I think you’re called flip-flops

because you make people flip.

 

So this is my answer,

Oh flip-flops of pain.

I’m not going to wear you,

EVER AGAIN!

About PeterP

I am a blogger, author, stay at home dad, speaker, web hosting trainer and geek (I was so excited to get an iPad that I actually made up a song and dance about it). I am English by birth, but currently live in California with my wife and our three children. I ran a web hosting business for nine years and found that many, if not most of my clients had never learned how to use any of the functions associated with hosting so I wrote a book to try and teach just those skills. I must admit to having fallen in love with WordPress (possibly a little TOO much) and I honestly find it hard to understand why anyone would use anything different to build a site! WordPress is wonderful! My passion is to help others achieve their goals with their websites/blogs. I believe that, with a little help, anyone can have an awesome site.

19 thoughts on “Oh Flip-Flops, I Hate You”

  1. And THAT my friend, was FUNNY!

    In defense of flip-flops (oh dear flip-flops)… your feet really would love them if you ever wore them under normal circumstances for half of a day and then took a day off and then another half and work your way up. It’s like your feet have to get used to them. They need to become tough in all the right places.

    What? It’s not worth all of that?

    I do feel compelled to say this –
    I do think the flip-flops will forgive you for hating them. Maybe. ha!

    However, I DO NOT AGREE! ha!!! I LOVE FLIP-FLOPS! (Second to bare feet of course.)

    Lynnette :)))) (That’s a big cheesy grin!)

    1. PeterP says:

      🙂

      Thanks, Lynnette.

      I am going to do my best not to judge you on your love of flip-flops…. 😉

  2. kelybreez says:

    Dude. Chacos are your answer. They’re the only shoe I’ve worn for something like 29 years in a row.

    1. PeterP says:

      ChaWhat?

      I’ve never heard of such things!

      Where do I find them and what are they?

      1. Father Stephen says:

        Pete, this is some of what Chaco’s website says. At $50 and up, I don’t think they were what you were looking for, but the Company sounds like fun

        ‘The Chaco trademarked BioCentric comfort starts with a biomechanically correct contour that distinguishes Chaco shoes from all the rest, creating a level of foot health that has been awarded the Seal of Acceptance by the American Podiatric Medical Association (APMA). More importantly, BioCentric comfort and support are qualities Chaco wearers experience with every stride. Understanding the elements of that stride, and addressing how best to support and optimize it continues to be at the core of Chaco footwear designs. Chaco BioCentric comfort ensures a supported, comfortable stride in any activity.
        To keep Chaco sandals clean and fresh Chaco recommends machine washing in a garment or mesh bag with detergent. Avoid bleach and allow to air dry. Once or twice a season wet your Chaco sandals and pull the Chaco straps back and forth to clean out any grit or sand that has accumulated in the strap channels.

        Chaco understands that sooner or later all manufactured goods become garbage. Chaco would like to think that a Chaco sandal lasts forever, but it doesn’t. Until they do, Chaco sandals are manufactured with a focus on using durable materials and engineering them so they can be re-soled and re-webbed. That way, long before a pair of Chaco sandals becomes garbage, they’ve been around the block a time or two. The longer it takes a Chaco sandal to get to the landfill, the happier Chaco is and the healthier our world is. In 2005 Chaco launched a Recycled Shoe Program. Consumers were invited to trade in any old (but clean) pair of flips, sport sandals, shoes or boots for a 20% discount on a new pair of Chaco sandals. Cool, huh?’

    2. katdish says:

      Sweet fancy Moses. I hope they’re not the same pair, Stinky.

  3. Oh, Peter. This is so wrong in so many ways. Flip-flops are our friends. I have them in every color. Simple ones. Platform variety. Dressy. Casual. It’s all I wear April through October. I just don’t understand.

    1. PeterP says:

      Wrong? Oh Heather.

      I would like to try to teach you the truth but you’ve obviously been brainwashed by the high-profit end of the shoe industry.

      I think you could probably find a recovery group though….

  4. Father Stephen says:

    When I was just a little boy I sat on a beach and watched some other kids playing on the rocks. The rocks were covered in barnacles or some other kind of really sharp-edged shells. A scream went up. Distressed parents looked around to make sure it was not one of theirs. An ambulance arrived. A shredded, bleeding leg with screaming girl still attached was taken off to hospital. The message went around the beach – don’t wear flip-flops, they’ve got no grip.

    I had never worn flip-flops before that day and I have to tell you, the sight of that leg has ensured that I never have and never will.

    1. PeterP says:

      Ummm, good reason.

      I’m sure if you ever tried wearing a pair even around the house, you’d detest them as much as me, even without the imminent threat of leg-shredding!

  5. Helen says:

    I have never worn flip flops in my life! My feet are too lovely. I don’t want to make everyone either swoon or jealous. I prefer to walk the beach in anonymity. (Either that, or I wear orthotics, and they can’t be placed in flip flops. Pick the reason you prefer! 🙂 )

    1. PeterP says:

      I refuse to believe the Orthotics thing so I’m going to go with the beautiful feet story.

      In that case, Helen, you are a saint for being so kind to the world and your husband is a lucky, lucky man!

      1. Helen says:

        You are a good, good friend, Peter!

  6. katdish says:

    This is just plain heresy. Flip flops rule.

    Although I was amused by your last stanza, because “pain” and “again” only rhyme if your British.

    1. PeterP says:

      I refuse to accept statements like ‘Flip Flops rule’ from anyone who doesn’t think that “pain” and “again” naturally rhyme!

      1. Erin F. says:

        umm I’m American and I’m disagreeing respectfully but when I say ‘pain’ and ‘again’ rhyme when I say them and also when I sing in church 🙂

  7. katdish says:

    you’re not your…

    1. PeterP says:

      I can’t believe that your getting your you’res and yours mixed up!

      I’ve read you’re blog and your a much better writer than that!

  8. I think I saw the “flip-flops of pain” in a James Bond movie once. Granted it was one of the more terrible ones… 🙂

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