Failures – Blog Carnival

failure

We are starting a new series today at the One Word At A Time Blog Carnival. This week’s word is: Failures.

However, the theme is “Let Go Of…” So every week, we will have a word for the week, but in the backs of our minds, we will be thinking that we should write something about letting go of that word.

My entry is below all of this intro stuff.

Below this, you’ll find a little widget called Simply Linked. All the participants in the carnival add their links to the widget and that way we can all find and read everyone’s entries. You’re welcome to join us, the carnival is open to anyone.

To see all of the upcoming words and their dates, visit peterpollock.com/category/faith/carnival

 

 

Failures are my Life


wheelchair-fail

Terrible. Unpresentable. Unusable. Embarrassing. Worthless. Those are just some of the words I use to describe everything I’ve ever done. Everything.

People try to get offended by that, and I can see why, but you have to understand, it relates to me, not you.

My wife could quite likely say, “Was marrying me terrible, embarrassing and worthless?” – and of course the answer is no, because that’s a ‘we’ thing. We got married. That was good!

However, if I look at my contribution to our wedding day, the things I did I did badly and there were plenty of things I didn’t do that I should have done.

I cannot see success in anything I’ve ever accomplished myself. I find it hard to even consider anything an accomplishment, unless you consider failure an accomplishment.

Why?

Simply put, I’m a perfectionist when it comes to myself with an unrealistic sense of what ‘success’ actually is.

I know that, I hate it… but one of the many things I’ve thus far failed at is believing something different.

This blog carnival is about letting go of failures, and I’m VERY interested to see what people write about that subject because I feel that if I let go of my failures, I’m letting go of everything.

Being an Author

That brings me to the effect my own skewed outlook has on me as I’m nearing completion of my book. Well, I say ‘nearing’…. I’m over half way there at least!

Do you understand the way I think? I’m sure I’m not the only one out there, but I imagine many of you can’t wrap your heads around how I feel about myself.

Imagine though, how hard it is to try to complete something when you know completion means failure?

The closer I get to completing the book, the closer I get to having to look at it and see what a mess I’ve made of it and how terrible it is – at least, how terrible it is compared to my expectations of myself.

I’m sure that moment when I hold my own book in my hands for the first time will be an emotional one, but as I flick through its pages, all I will see is things I could have done better, corrections and improvements that need to be made and I’ll hear that little voice inside saying, “You should have let someone else write it. Now you have to live with this for the rest of your life!”

I promised I would attempt to bring you on the writing journey with me, so you can write a book vicariously through me, but this is one part of the journey I hope you don’t take with me, because it’s not fun, it’s not positive and there’s pain with every press of a key on the keyboard. Pain that grows as I get closer and closer to the ‘end’ – and one more failure to add to the pile.

About PeterP

I am a blogger, author, stay at home dad, speaker, web hosting trainer and geek (I was so excited to get an iPad that I actually made up a song and dance about it). I am English by birth, but currently live in California with my wife and our three children. I ran a web hosting business for nine years and found that many, if not most of my clients had never learned how to use any of the functions associated with hosting so I wrote a book to try and teach just those skills. I must admit to having fallen in love with WordPress (possibly a little TOO much) and I honestly find it hard to understand why anyone would use anything different to build a site! WordPress is wonderful! My passion is to help others achieve their goals with their websites/blogs. I believe that, with a little help, anyone can have an awesome site.

12 thoughts on “Failures – Blog Carnival”

  1. Thomas Mason says:

    Peter, I can relate to these words you wrote: “I’m a perfectionist when it comes to myself with an unrealistic sense of what ‘success’ actually is.”

    Even when a part of me thinks I’ve done a good job on something, that other part of me says it could have been better or needs to be revised.

    I mostly think of myself as a failure at many things, and like you, my wife will ask me during those moments of doubt if marrying her was a failure or having our daughter is a failure. That sometimes helps to put things in their proper perspective.

    1. PeterP says:

      Hi Thomas,

      Thank you for understanding. It’s good to know I’m not alone!

      My wife does the marriage/kids argument, too but I find it doesn’t help my perspective much because those things are things SHE was involved in and made good… it wasn’t my fault that stuff turned out well!

  2. hazel i moon says:

    No one enjoys failing, but it is often through failure that we learn to succeed and that is good. Tough lessons though!

    1. hazel i moon says:

      I notice your book is half done – that is not failure unless you stop now – – so keep on going and stop being so hard on yourself. It is difficult for a perfectionist to let something be “good enough.” Nothing will ever be perfect – only God is perfect. Strive to be happy and pleased that you are adding to and keep at it.

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