Yesterday I started telling you about all that has been going on in my life over the past week. Today, I’ll hopefully fill in the rest.
After the AV Christian Writer’s Conference, I ate at In-n-Out (which is a BIG deal to me).
After that brief pit-stop, I drove home to be with my family and a visiting missionary who arrived at my house a little before me.
Rob Vanden Bos is a mentor and friend and I was very excited that he was coming to stay for a while.
Based in the Philippines, Rob spends a couple of months every year here in the States, working to earn money to fund his projects in the mission field. It’s just incredible to sit and listen to him talk about all they do out there on a little island of less than 300,00 people.
I was really hoping that God would speak to me through Rob while he was here and for a while it looked like I was going to be disappointed, but God spoke in his own good time!
Rob spoke at our worship gathering about the river Jordan and how the Israelite priests had to step out into it, in the middle of flood season, in the faith that God would help them cross safely (see my post about it here).
Rob then related it to us… What is God asking us to do that seems crazy, seems insurmountable, seems too risky or dangerous? God doesn’t always open the way and smooth the path before we step out, sometimes he asks us to step out and trust him to bring us through safely.
This played heavily on my mind for a day or so. What is God calling me to do? I know there is something. I know I have a river Jordan that I’m holding back from.
I wrote a list of questions to help me think through what I was feeling but I was getting nowhere answering them.
On Monday evening I spent some time in prayer with Rob and another man, a spiritual giant who I don’t spend enough time with. It was a great time and during it I had what I believe was a revelation moment – but God didn’t leave it at that, he then also answered some of my questions through these two great men.
Revelation moment: God is calling me and my family to be missionaries. I’m going to blog a lot about this, I’m sure, but for now, let’s just say that I already know where and when, I just have to convince my family!
Answers to questions: What is my river Jordan? Fear of failure. It’s as simple as that. Of course, I knew that, it’s a life theme for me, but the two men who told me couldn’t have known except by divine revelation. When I say I knew it, I mean I knew that it was true, I didn’t know that was what God wants to deal with right now though. Rob (the missionary) then went on to answer four more of my questions and the answers are basically this: I’m scared! They are both fairly convinced though that God is going to do something in me that will help me get past all of this and step out into the river in faith!
Those of you who have been following my blog for a while will know that fear is something I have struggled with for a long time. I’m sure it’s not going to be easy moving out of the paralysing fear that I now feel into the success and freedom that God has planned for me but I’m excited to walk the path and find out where it leads.
In the last couple of days, I have read numerous blog posts that it seems were written just for me right here, right now. God is pretty amazing like that. Posts like this by Francis Chan, this one by JasonS, this one (also by JasonS) and this one by Gary Boal have really spoken to me.
God is doing something… it’s exciting and scary at the same time!
How about you, what is God doing in your life? More importantly, what are you running away from and not letting him do in your life?
Is the Elephant a clue to the where part?
This post on the missionary call and dealing with fear…
Exciting and fearful at the same time! Sure sounds like a God thing to me.
Then we realize we cannot fulfill what Christ ask of us, it is beyond us. A reality check, a spiritual truth, and a wonderful stepping stone to launch into everything He has for us.
Ultimately we will fear either the world or God and so serve!
Be blessed!
I say GO FOR IT!!!!!! I’m all about turning your life upside down to follow God. Erwin McManus’ book “The Barbarian Way” is a great read. I’ll be up there this weekend. I’ll bring it for ya to borrow 🙂
Peter
How exciting…how we long to hear God’s purpose for our lives. God is on an entirely differently timetable than ours – He can move mountains…but He does so in His time…and in His time He will make His desire known and move within your family.
Everyday we have a new opportunity to live for Jesus. Each day puts us on a new mission field. There are so many opportunties we miss. I only wish each as children of God that we could embrace that He has called each of His children to Full Time Missions. I loved your link to Chan’s article yesterday…so much so that I had to reflect on it in my blog today.
Know that I will be praying for you as you seek God’s will in your life and the life of your family…there can be nothing more exciting!
Deb
Hi Deb, thanks for chiming in and for praying. I really appreciate it.
Can’t wait to get my hands on your book!
Wow, I am so excited for you right now! I know it’s scary, but how wonderful it is to see more clearly the purposes of God for our lives! I’ll be praying for you- blessings, wisdom, and grace!
Also, thanks so much for the shout-outs. It always amazes me how God speaks and confirms through so many different ways. I’m excited to have a part in it. 🙂
Hey Peter,
Thanks for sharing your heart here. I want to chime in and say that fear and faith are partners. Without risk there is not an atmosphere in which faith can flourish. Risk usually brings fear in one form or another. I love that the Lord told Joshua to be bold and courageous… NOT fearless. Sometimes we forget that boldness and courage don’t eliminate fear from the equation. In fact they generally are elicited by fear.
So glad to be a partner with you in this mission field my friend. Thanks for all the ways that you encourage boldness in me. I hope I can do the same for you.
Thanks for the comment Bruce.
I really appreciate your wisdom and insight and am enjoying getting to know you and finding out how God would have us partner together here in Hanford.