We’ve all heard of, known or even been victims of domestic abuse.
Sadly, it’s all too common these days.
The story is invariably the same. The husband (or wife) loses their temper and hits their spouse, often repeatedly.
Sometimes alcohol is involved, sometimes not but invariably the next day or even just a short while later, those same words are uttered:
“I’m sorry, baby. You know I love you, right? I love you so much!”
There’s a problem there though.
The actions don’t line up with the words.
There is a commonly misunderstood passage in the bible, where James talks about faith REQUIRING deeds (James 2:14-24).
Some people interpret that as meaning there is no salvation without doing good things, but that is a misinterpretation of what James is saying.
What James is telling us is that faith and good works are intermingled. If we really are followers of Christ then we cannot help but do good works.
If we don’t, then we’re not really ‘following’, are we?
The same is true of love.
If we truly love someone, it will show in our actions.
Beating someone to a pulp is in no way a loving act and so it denies the existence of the love they claim to have.
There is much talk about ‘Love Languages
Whilst it’s true that some people don’t realize that they are having love shown to them when it’s in a different language than they understand, we can all see that love is NOT being shown when the opposite of a love language is being used.
Here are the five love languages:
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- receiving gifts
- acts of service
- physical touch
and here are their opposites:
- Words of abuse
- Being ignored
- Being stolen from
- Being a dictator
- Physical abuse
This Valentine’s day I want to challenge you not just to SHOW love in a love language your spouse understands but to also examine your actions, your words and how you treat your relationship and stop acting in a way which contradicts the love you are claiming to feel.
May this be a very happy Valentines Day!
“Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (John 13:35)
Well, since I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, I’ll just practice these principles every day. Or try to, anyway.
Funny, seems like I’ve been hearing a lot about faith thats driven by actions. Thanks for the reminder for me to show my wife that love tonight, through my actions.
Good stuff, Peter. Just reading your title makes me mad because I know it’s said over and over and it’s not right. But like you said, it’s not just about physical abuse–our words and actions have to line up with the truth.
Thanks.
Peter, I loved this post. Tough subject, very well handled.
What you said about love is valid for any relationship, father/son, friends, pastor/church, etc.
If we love, we act accordingly.