Why me?

I was surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ, worshipping God. The worship team on the platform were talented, gifted and totally given over to worshipping their Lord. 

Standing there amongst my fellow believers, I should have been at peace. I should have been able to let go and fully immerse myself in the worship but something held me back….

Why me? I asked myself. 

Why would God pick me to lead anyone, to do anything when he has such talented people at his disposal.

Looking around I saw people with incredible gifts. People who, the more I knew about each one of them, the more I discovered amazing talents and abilities which they had hidden beneath the surface.

Looking at them I felt small. Very small. Why me? I wondered. What could I possibly have to offer compared to any one of them.

Why me?

I’m not writing this because I want to hear a bunch of platitudes, I’m writing it because I wrestled with those thoughts for a long time that day and I know I’m not alone in thinking them.

Why me?

I have nothing to offer, nothing to give that any one of the people in this room could not do a hundred times better.

So why me?

The answer comes from God:

Because I choose who I will use for each task.

Because I know who is right for this work, in this time, in this place.

Because I know what is needed and who I have gifted with just the right mix of gifts.

Because I do not see things as men do.

Because I alone am God.

I know that God has placed me here, doing this, right now, today and I cannot fathom why… but in the end, I don’t need to know why. I just need to know the answer to these two questions:

  1. Does God love me and does He love the people He has sent me to?
  2. Can I trust Him?

It always comes down to those two questions. Does God love me? and can I trust him? If you can know deep in your heart that the answer to those two questions is ‘YES’ then there is never anything else to question, never any need to worry or fear, never any doubt. 

God loves me and I trust him.

…and that’s the bottom line. The foundation.

Why me? I really have no idea. Truly, I wouldn’t pick me. God did though, and that’s all I need to know.